Sink, Sank, Sunk
by ruxgluk422
Summary: Three years from now, Enzo's assigned a mission: get Caroline to calm down and laugh a little. Because that's hard to do with kids. And a job. And being engaged to the history teacher that literally tried to kill you. Klaus mention, Bro Enzo (brotp? Is that right?)


**I was bored, so I decided to combine my bitching about the lack of bodily autonomy on TVD and combine it with a fictionalization version of my own ponderings on how those ship names get picked.**

 **And on a side note, I'm not sure if I'm missing something, but apparently the show is going to completely close the door on Klaus and Caroline (which I thought they had). Look on the bright side: these shows just got moved to Friday night death slot. So if they got together in the next episode, you'd only get a half season before they axed them anyway.**

 **Besides, TO Klaus cries too much and Caroline would probably smack the shit out of/sense into him. Which may actually be a good thing.**

"Bonzo, gorgeous."

"What? Enzo, how much have you drank? You haven't pissed Bonnie off lately, have you?"

Caroline narrowed her eyes at the vampire. He tended to be a bit odd at times, but he was usually fairly sane. Which probably wasn't the right term, but compared to the rest of the group and considering he spent seventy years as a lab rat….

"Bonzo. Bonnie and Enzo. It's our romantic portmanteau." Enzo informed her with a grin. "Witchy says I need to catch up with the times a bit. What do you think?"

It had the desired effect. Caroline burst into laughter. "Oh my God, Enzo. That's like, for celebrities or characters or whatever. Not real life!"

Enzo smiled broadly. He could hear Bonnie inside the house playing with the twins. Alaric was cooking dinner. He and Bonnie decided to visit after word got out of Caroline and Ric's engagement. Turned out, it was just a buffer against human nosiness. People just couldn't stop with the questions when they found out that the couple who lived with their adorable daughters were not "together," and never had been. Dodging questions led to googling, which led to finding out Ric was her former teacher whose fiancé was murdered right around the time the babies would have been conceived. Then it was a shitstorm. The teachers at the school where Ric worked went crazy with the gossip. The whole former student thing nearly cost him his job, and Caroline had to compel the entire faculty, a fair number of students, and a few tech nerds (to hack into and change files).

It was exhausting. Ric left the job anyway and began working as an editor, allowing him to be at home with the girls more.

It wasn't traditional, but it worked for them. Caroline had trouble adjusting to the situation at the beginning (hello, witches hijacked her uterus to save their coven), especially when she found out that the protection spell kept her options limited to… Okay, none. It sucked. But she was Caroline Forbes, damn it, and if she can't change it or fix it then she's damn well going to make it work. Ric had been supportive as well. Although it broke his heart, he was horrified at what the coven had done to Caroline. He and Jo loved their babies, but neither of them would have ever allowed someone's body to be commandeered to save them against their will. Jo, especially, would have been furious. Jo had overcome the slaughter of most of her family by her psychotic twin and then became a doctor. Even as she lay dying, her coven put themselves before her. Saving those babies had nothing to do with the woman carrying them, because Josette Laughlin Saltzman would never stand for stripping a human being of their power or control over their own body. He told Caroline he would be supportive no matter what, but it was her decision. They'd even tried a magical transfer into a hired surrogate, but the Gemini protection held firm. Apparently those assholes had spells become permanent after they died, instead of wearing off. No wonder that lot produced Kai and the Heretics.

So that was that and here they were. Caroline had grown to love the babies that grew inside her, somewhere in between coping and accepting. In any case, vampire or not, toddlers are exhausting. Witch toddlers who had things occasionally disappear, or mysteriously break during a tantrum were even more so. It was never anything big, but still. Plus her job was really demanding and now Ric's starting a new one and they just got the whole school thing resolved and Caroline was just so tired.

Which Bonnie and Enzo realized immediately. So, Bonnie decided to take care of the girls, Ric would make dinner and Enzo would force Caroline to sit and enjoy a bloodbath and a bottle of wine. He was under strict orders from Bonnie to make her friend laugh. As soon as they'd arrived, Caroline started worrying about Bonnie, fresh out of the psych ward, so she decided to leave the cheering up to Enzo. It took awhile, but he finally got one out of her.

Ok, so it was bloody ridiculous, but he was going to roll with it.

"That would make you and Mr. Robinson in there Calaric."

Caroline groaned. "Ugh, sounds like something the girls had as babies."

Enzo topped off her wine glass. "Nope, no stressful topics. Drink your wine, Caroline."

Caroline giggled. "Well, hey, you made a reference I understood, so good for you!"

Enzo scrunched his nose at her and sneered, demonstrating exactly what he thought of her mocking. "Oh, so we're being cruel now, are we? Tell me, who would be… Steroline?"

"Oh, cheap shot! Not going there. But wow, that couldn't sound less sexy. Seriously, I think I cleaned my toilet with something that had a similar name."

Enzo choked on his wine. The two of them were laughing riotously as they came up with different amalgamations of their friends' names.

"Forwood!"

"Denzo!"

"Carenzo!"

"Enzo, that sounds like an architectural feature!" Caroline laughed. "But thank you, I haven't done this in years. Probably haven't laughed like this, either."

"Wait, you've actually done this? Is this one of those girl things Bonnie girl says I won't understand?" Enzo asked.

"Oh, I think you've got the hang of it. I'd even call you one of the girls now," Caroline said with a smirk. "But yeah, we used to do it in high school, our named with celebrities or out crushes. Came up with some bad ones too. Ask Bon about Bacob."

Enzo snickered. He wasn't sure of the reference, but it sounded ridiculous. "Maybe we should be Benzo then, keep things sounding similar to food or related items. So what's she going to tell me about you?"

Caroline froze. Enzo grinned. He knew he had her. Bonnie would tell him anyway when he mentioned Bacon or whatever it was.

The blonde sighed. "The other guy with the dodgy morals and questionable accent."

Enzo clapped his hands together and laughed. "Ok, so let's see, that would be…"

"Klaroline. Just shut up. Shut up."

"Oh. Well. I was way off base."

"What? What did you think it would be? His name is one syllable, what else is there? Klorbes?"

"Oh, that one's good! But me, personally, I'd go with Forkelson."


End file.
